Of Humans and Relations!

It is an unavoidable fact that life takes people in new directions; growing apart from people you were with becomes a part of life. But, somehow I always thought that I was immune to this worldly shit and that this was someone else’s story.

And then after all these years, I find myself feeling disconnected and keep discovering that the best people (around me) did not really know me at all.

But the 25 years that I've lived (almost 26), one thing that I've realised pretty well is 'Life's not what you plan or you think it is, it is what actually happens all the way along'.

Do you remember that childhood best friend that you thought will be the one you'd be spending the end years of your life with? How many of you even talk to that buddy now? This is life. These are relations. At one moment what seems everything and strongest seems most fragile and nothing but a loose end at another. That's life. And, you know what? There's nothing sad about it.

I know 25-years is not a long time but my experiences and learnings from the world has taught me 5 major stages of most human relations. And by relations, I do not mean that steriotypical love relationship. This term 'relation' is used for the bunch of relations you create, retain and maintain all your life.

Adopt: You were not born with love in your heart for all the family relatives you got for free, you adopted all of them. Things you do for love. 😜
You did not choose your classmates, you could have a better best friend if your classmates were different. Got my point? It is nothing but a matter of time and surroundings that made you adopt the people you actually call your people beside your mom, dad or kids who were truly a part of you or you were a part of them.

Love: Again a matter of time. You don't fall for somebody or just anybody in a day. You fell for your mother because she cared for you day and night. You love your dad because he was always there for you. You fell in love with your sister because despite the fact that she always stood strict with you, you only wanted her to gossip about your class mates, colleagues and the rest of the world. And you love your brother because you'll only go to him when you're dying of hunger and find nobody to accompany you or cook for you. These are mere examples from my own life. And everybody might have their own. Those who talk about love at first sight just talk shit. You can get attracted to a human at a sight but love needs time. It needs care, it needs understanding, it needs honesty, fights, proximity, distance, maybe all of thee and maybe noneof them to actually fall in love with another creature. Be it an animal. Would you ever love a stray dog that barks at you without a reason every single day? No! You'd prefer the one who wigs his tail the moment you pass through.
So, understand.

That loose end: Old questions again, you made friends all through your childhood. How many are still there with you? How many are still available in times of need? With how many do you really talk your heart out to? Remember they were your everything at one point. Now, there are days when they think thrice before sending you a 'Hi' on your so called social media chatboxes. So called because our social media is more of 'Look at the amazing time I am hvaing in my life and feel sad about your boring weekend' than actually making us social. Despite the fact that you wanted them for forever, they become a lose end in your life. It could be one sided or mutual but trust me, it was nobody's fault. You might have tried hard to keep them but as they say 'Let loose of the ones you love, if they stay they were yours. If not, you should be happy to have met them in this life.

Acceptance and Moving on: *Being harsh alert*
You might not be the one he was looking for, he could be looking for a rose while you might be the sunflower he never really liked! Not all stories end with the sunflower finding their prince charming fighting all odds. Because c'mon, it's life. You don't always get what you want, no matter how hard you fight for it. It has to come naturally. That naturally could be 10-years later for some and never for the rest. What you can do otherwise is stop running after what's not ready to stay and start to appreciate what soothe you. Acceptance is the art that most of us have never really accepted. Kiss your dog and hug him hard and he'll stay. Try it. ❤

Forever: And then you end up having a few souls that make fun of you even when either one of you are on your death bed. They are your forever. You might have started with hating each other or might meet through an arrange marriage set-up You could find them as a free friend you got with your then best friend or an acquaintance you never really talked to at all while in your teen years. While they could be people you will be forced to live your life with or might just end up becoming your forevers on their own, you will never really need to ask them to stay. Because even a one-sided lover will stay as a friend all their life if they really wish to and if life supports them. If you support them. This is something that will always be mutual, might be slow but mutual. And you know what, you'll keep running behind the lose ends all your life while they'll just stay at your back. You won't need to find them. Life will happen. Your forevers will happen too. ❤

And if not forevers, you will find a number of short term forevers that will come and go all along. The ones that will make you not miss the old ones or will be with you till you find the right ones. Till, then keep finding yourself because 'No one needs to figure or find you out but you, yourself' is something I've realised recently. And, now it doesn't annoy me when people say, "I don't understand you". Because now I know that they don't need to. Because in a world full of people waiting to listen from me, I've found myself the best listener of my stories and that somehow seems enough. ❤