Wednesday, 27 September 2017

Suddenly, one day!

Suddenly, one day you realize your value in their eyes. Worthless it is! A sudden moment of realization where the thought of being taken for granted cross your mind and all the past behaviors start to fall in place.  The moment when you realize that what you considered important or prioritized over others don't even understand the value of the time, feelings you invested in them. And, all those years of turmoil, dedication seemed worthless. Your worth becomes worthless in your own eyes. And, it happens in a fraction of a second, a second that helps you clear the thin layer of assumptions that you have formed over the years.
But life and people have strange ways of dealing with people, you see. I too have my own ways.
So, one day, I'll disappear.
I'll walk away from you, to never walk back ever again in your life. I'll find a new road, a new destination, and you, you will no longer be my home from that day. I know, that's unreasonable, I know, that's almost next to impossible, but I will, for myself.
I will, not because I'm tired of being your friend, but because I'm tired of being the only one there. I knew I was strong, I always have been.
For you, I was a path. A path you traveled down, occasionally, at times when you were stressed or wished to confide, but for me, you were home, and I wonder if I'm even ready to change my address yet. It's like I kept looking for you wherever I have been, but you know what's more tragic? You were never there.
This has been a journey I don't wish to live again. Being with you, I might have had the best moments of my life, but some of the most painful moments of life were gifted by you too. Knowing that you'll always take me for granted over others, it hurts. And, it always will. You know, I understand the importance of priorities, I understand that I am not your priority but being taken for granted. Really?
Don't you worry, this won't be any different, this will not be something anew. You've always been that someone, the one who took me for granted.

Monday, 18 September 2017

Is it love?

Do you know what love is?
Do you or do you?
Love is not just about the butterflies you feel in your heart whenever you look at your someone special.
Love is falling for the right person at the wrong time. Love is saying 'control yourself' to your heart even when it didn't want to. Love is about knowing that the one you love can never be yours. Love is about understanding that the one you love doesn't love you back. Love is about loving someone even after they are gone long back. Love is about loving the one your love is in love with. Love is controlling your jaw dropping down when that 'one' looks extremely hot and you have to control your hormones by saying, 'Oh! You look good.'

Just good? Really?

Love is about explaining yourself every single night, 'Aree, it's not love. It's just a crush.' but still keep wetting your pillow with those never ending tears. Love is when you forget to remove your make up and gift it to your bedsheet every night after rubbing your eyes million of times while you can't sleep.
Love is when you keep reminding yourself, 'Dude, you are screwed'.

Have you ever felt that weakness, weakness when you no longer stay in the world that you are in?
Have you ever entered your kitchen for a glass of water but stood up there for like 15 minutes with a spatulla and a plate in both hands thinking why you were there?
Have you ever waited for 11 PM so that you could say good night to everyone and then cry yourself to sleep?
Have you ever tried hard to control your tears back just because you know you can't let everyone know what you are going through?
Have you ever felt that weak that you being completely, perfectly, medically fit couldn't find it easy to stand on your feet because something inside is weakning you?

If you are happy in love, don't worry, it is love indeed.
But if you are not happy and you still can't hold back loving someone, it is definitely LOVE.

Tuesday, 22 August 2017

Happy endings!

Do you believe in happy endings? Well, I don't. I don't believe that there's anything like 'happy endings'. And, even if it exists for you, I don't believe in it. 
Nothing ends happily leaving smiling people behind. Not even the ultimate ending of human existence - Death!
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I rather believe in happy middles. The moments of happiness are experienced always in the middle. You fell for the person of your dreams in the middle of your story, you marry the love of your life in the middle of your story, you become the CEO of your company in the middle, you will give birth to beautiful kids in the middle, you will buy your dream car, house, everything in the middle, trust me when I say everything, it will all be yours in the middle.
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So, I believe in happy middles. 
No one will cherish the moment if you win the world championship on the day of your death but will certainly mourn that moment.
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This is why, I am against this philosophy of happy endings. 
I believe in happy beginnings and happy middles. ❤

Saturday, 22 July 2017

Worthless!

Suddenly, one day you realize your value in their eyes. Worthless it is! A sudden moment of realisation where the thought of being taken for granted cross your mind and all the past behaviours starts to fall in place.   The moment when you realise that what you considered important or prioritised over others don't even understand the value of the time, feelings you invested in them. And, all those years of turmoil, dedication seemed worthless. Your worth becomes worthless in your own eyes. And, it happens in a fraction of second, a second that helps you clear the thin layer of assumptions that you have formed over the years.

बात ये नहीं थी की साथ उसने छोड़ दिया, बात सिर्फ इतनी सी थी की वो साथ कभी था ही नहीं।

बात ये नहीं की समझती मैं थी हमेशा,
बात सिर्फ इतनी सी थी के उसने कभी समझा ही नहीं।

बात ये नहीं थी की उसके विश्वास तोडा,
बात सिर्फ ये थी की विश्वास जो मेने किया वो उस तरफ से कभी था ही नहीं।

Friday, 7 July 2017

Places like this!

Yes, I am from a generation that prefers night outs, loud music, drenching in the sweat while dancing on those funky fashionable songs. But, I still prefer sitting at a place like this, with a person, talking to him/her, knowing about him/her sipping the freshly brewed coffee, inhaling all the positivity that comes from conversations that take place at places like this. 
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I belong to that generation that I won't mind even if I am sitting here with a book, knowing its characters, falling in love with the people in the book, appreciating the words, living a life that the author wanted his/her reader to go through.
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Also, if not with a book or a person to talk to, trust me minding here sitting alone will be the last thought that will come up in my head. Appreciating the flavor of the coffee, observing people around and falling in love with my solitude will be my preference because I don't belong to a generation of parties, I belong to a generation of conversations, patience, and solitude.