3AM Conversations!

She1: But what if he ever comes to you to say 'I love you'?

She2: That's never happening, babe!

She1: Why?

She2: Because as much as I know that he is exactly the kind of person I always wanted or desired or wished for, I am exactly the opposite kind of person he would ever fall for. You can call it 'Side effects of knowing a person inside-out' but I exactly know what/what kind he want in his life. And, being pretty clear about it, I know that's not me. 

The one thing that I still can not believe is how can someone be exactly the kind I wanted. I sometimes think that "Okay, he lacks this!" and you would not believe me but the very mext moment I see him doing/saying things I wanted to see him do/listen to.

I know! I know, I sound strangely mad but being bad with words, I can't exactly tell you the things I've felt here in my heart. (Touches her chest right above her heart.)

She1: But, what if it ever happens? What will you do?

She2: I might laugh at him!

She1: Done with your jokes? Now, tell me clearly, what will you do? (Sounding irritated)

She2: But I am not cracking a joke. That's true....

She1: Sshhh! Answer!

She2: See, you are not getting me. When I say, I am not being funny, you've to trust me on this because the fact is that the thought of rejection is so strongly imbibed inside me that I could never really imagine this part of the story ever. I know it sounds strange but I have never really imagined a future with him because the very initiation of this imagination rings that 'that's never gonna happen' bell inside my heart that leaves me with nothing but all tears. And a heart that's not strong enough to accept the fact that 'it's never gonna happen' doesn't really allow me to take a step forward and confess my feelings to him.

She1: And, what are you planning to do then? Will you never tell him that you love him?

She2: No! You know the heights till which I can keep my emotions inside and safely intact. You know exactly the number of times I've fallen ill because of this habit of bottling up my feelings inside. 

You know exactly how I don't react to certain things in life. And, you also know that I'll be all well till the time I am keeping everything within because you exactly know what 'hurt-monster' I am gonna turn into if I say things out clearly.

Last, that 0.00001% of misconception that he might also feel the same for me is enough to feel good and live a happy life than knowing the 99.9999% fact that he's nowhere on this track.

Life is all about convincing yourself that it's okay. And, it's okay.

She1: But still, keh do na!

She2 (At the top of her voice): Keh do na, Keh do na, You are my Soniya. Tin tin tin, tin tidin tin, tin tin tin, tidin tin tin. ❤️

**She1 joined that ugly singer in Keh do na and the conversation ended with a long hug.**

Love makes you do all the idiotic things in life but she never thought that it would make her sing 'Keh do na, Keh do na, You are my Soniya' at the loudest of her voice at 3 AM.